dear you: my destruction
by Aiko Isari
Summary: Dear you, I hope it becomes clear how much you mean to me. Dear you, can't you see the kind of monster I am? [glare/julia]


_Rated for implied graphic violence and implied sexual content as well as sadism._

* * *

Dear you,

how long has it been since we've met?

Where have you gone since the baby chicks took you away from me?

Dear you, my love, I never got to say it before. Did you know that you complete me?

Dear you, when I see you again, I am going to kill you. With your lance.

Your love, always.

* * *

Dear you,

Is it better on the other side? All the crazy ones in one place? Well, except me. I got away from you for the moment. How is the girl? Is she speaking yet?

Dear you, do you know who I am?

Dear recipient, dear friend, do you remember when I made love to your sister and said your name?

Dear you, dear you, when can I put flowers at your grave like you want to put on mine? All wilted and decayed of course. Only the best.

Your love, always.

* * *

Dear you,

I met a friend today. Those bothers that follow you around. He hasn't called me recently. Dear you, do you remember the day your sister died? Dear you, do you remember the way she cried your name?

I do. Do you remember how much you loved me then?

You didn't. I hope you remember. I want you to come back.

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

Have you married your job yet? Dear you, have you remembered my name?

Dear you, dear you, do you remember when you called me beautiful?

I do. I always do. You called me beautiful when I was blood-covered. You called me warm and sweet when I was nothing but a cigarette between teeth and a severed set of fingers. Dear you, dear you, are you aware of how much you are mine?

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

The seasons pass and the leaves make me think of the days your skin roasted off from your angel's practice with her crystals. Dear you, they make me think of your eyes as they light up with rage, with love, with the sun on your skin.

Dear you, I've seen your arms. Dear you, I've seen your bad boy slouch and laughed.

Dear you, I can't wait to see you twisted like a pretzel.

Dear you, my children love me and they are fools.

Your love, always.

* * *

Dear you,

Where are you to kiss me awake, to sink your teeth in and remind me I need new scars? Why is time passing without your ring on my finger and the bed frame squeaking with age? Where are you and why are we not dancing through the ruins with our knives in hand?

Where are you and why will you not cross this bridge with me?

I'm sorry about Ada. I am so sorry.

Your love, always.

* * *

Dear you,

Dear you, your guilt is a skyscraper. I cannot wait to topple it. Dear you, when am I going to feel your hands on my back? Dear you, where are our days in the blood rain? Dear you, where are you to pull fangs from my arms?

Dear you, when can I dance over your headstone?

Dear you, how long must I be alone at hers?

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

Must every child be broken? Dear you, I met two that if not their affinity, should go to you. One is like a reed on its last legs, bending and smiling and cruel. One is so much like you, so much detachment and exasperation and joy. They love their work.

Don't we all?

Do you think our ideal should persist to reality?

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

It is not our ideal; it is hers. We wouldn't love it so if it was ours.

Have you eaten your little ones? They all seem to be disappearing. I know I cannot eat them, and my knight despises the taste of cotton, so it is not I. Will you play _kakurenbo_ with me and search for them? There are always shadowy corners there.

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

The only human I like to eat is you, inside and out. Children in these parts are stringy and murderous and fun. Why ever would I eat them? There must be monsters lurking in the dark, I agree. Perhaps we are due for some ground work. It has been a while. Shall we call up our old friends?

You're too kind even now. No matter how much you threaten me, your heroism is at stake. Your nobility. Has your mother called you about the will?

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

Even a hero needs to take off their cape, except you. You tied yourself in knots. Shall I undo them? Or make you squirm?

I love you, you know. I love you and the way you bleed. I love you and the way you lie, chest heaving, on the bed, pillow cotton in your hair, my nails running grooves into your chest. I love the way you take my insides and worship them with your knives and your tongue.

I love that you sin with me.

I hope you will let me do what is necessary.

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

Just a little longer, dear, my dear. Cage your monster for a little while longer. We need the backing, the funding. We need the fools to feed us starving rats. Then, never again. These people have never had a knife for anything other than to cut their food. You would get tired of them; your sister would be worse.

Dear you, Ada has cried in my dreams again. I'm an awful person, aren't I?

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

Of course you're an awful person, you sang my name into my sister's breasts. You licked her skin with me in her eyes. You're a dirty cheat, loving a woman three years your junior and smiling when she even breathed.

You're my awful boy and you're going to love me more when this is through.

Dear you, dear you, my sister deserved better than you.

Dear you, you monster, you love me through the bullet in my shoulder, the blood in my hair.

Dear you, I love you and hope to dance on your pyre with broken bones and laugh at the red sunset on your corpse.

Your love, always.

* * *

Dear you,

It's not your fault.

Your love, always

* * *

Dear you,

It always is.

Your love, always

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ Don't question it, because I don't know. Their prompt was supposed to be fluff and sap and something humane. Then Moon was on the brain. So that didn't happen. Anyway, review if you can!

Challenges: Diversity Writing (Digimon) D74. Write an epistolary novel, Pairing Diversity boot camp prompt 32 'impurity', gameverse boot camp prompt 18 'haunt', and Valentine's/White Day Advent day 16. write a letter/group of letters.

Kakurenbo*- hide and seek


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